ants dance

One purpose for this entry is just for the title alone. Let’s stop and admire it for a moment. Ants. Dance.


And yes, there’s a greater purpose for my phrase “Ants Dance” and unfortunately, I must regret that this isn’t the newest dance craze I have created.  Actually, it could be. I already created a dance I call “The Step” that consists of leaning back, extending a foot (doesn’t matter, left or right) and move it back and forth. To add the Ants Dance part to it, perhaps it’d be easier to image this dance if you pretend the dancer is stepping on various ants left to right.


I know if I made a YouTube video, it would make it a lot easier to understand, but no.


And no, that’s not the greater purpose of naming this the Ants Dance. What I really mean is that this is the season the ants have returned, entering my home illegally. I do not approve. More specifically, Mother-ma does not approve. She complains to Father-pa that these creepy crawlies must be destroyed immediately. I do agree. I don’t want them in my room where my snacks are stored. I’m not terribly creeped out by them. And in some instances, depending on my lazy level, I may not even end their life. Sometimes. I usually only attack ants and other bugs to protect my mother, and to protect them from her wrath.


I’m sure ants activists, which might be a division of PETA, might say this is cruelty. Or even bring of religion, saying “You call yourself a Christian and you are killing God’s creatures?” Such a Christian might contend that it wasn’t written that thou shalt not squish. Even if it is in there, my mother would make an exception to the rule as long as such a creature is not in her house.


There’s also the argument question, “What if that happened to you? How would you feel?” Nothing, assuming I’d be dead upon the initial squishing. So I wouldn’t have time to protest or even care.


So if ants are dancing in your kitchen, or anywhere inside, take the proper precautions. 

  • Don’t leave food out/uncovered.
  • Clean up sugar granules, crumbs, sauce, or anything delicious.
  • Buy pesticides.
  • Use the pesticide (this is for lazy people or those who easily forget).
  • Invest in curious pets like dogs or cats that may eat them while you aren’t looking.
  • Supply a can of bug spray in every room.
  • If you are pro-life, supply a jar in every room. Have fun collecting.

I’m sure you can think of other options to do what you must do. For me, the Ants Dance is appropriate while standing or I just grab a tissue or heavy object to enact certain doom for the unfortunate insect.

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April 2009
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