I’ve been vigorously praying, hoping and working these past few days towards a serious change. I haven’t made a “new lifestyle” post in quite sometime, mostly because a few detours and events had taken place that weren’t exactly worth writing about… or I whenever I thought about blogging, somehow out of nowhere food would appear. I’m apologizing in advance if I get a little ambiguous at times… there are certain things you need to know to understand, but even a detail oriented person such as myself knows that you don’t necessarily need to know everything to understand the story. Also, beware of my love of analogies and imagery.
The short story is I technically started another business that I honestly feel I have no business being in. I tried it, then I seriously tried it, then I tried convincing myself, then I tried convincing others and before I knew it, I felt as though I’ve lost 4 months, $200 and who knows how many miles of gas that I could have spent been doing something more constructive. I’m not where I expected to be at this point in my life and I have myself to blame. This relates to my last post a week or so ago about listening to suggest parental guidance.
The other factor to this story is my main source of income had been been cut off. So there’s that. And that chapter will end at the same time the previous paragraph’s subject will.
But this is no time to mope around, feeling down and depressed, kicking myself and blaming America for being in a recession and a president who may or may not be providing jobs and/or tax cuts. I’m still blindly optimistic about most things and I’ve always believed that I was and still am an exception to certain adversaries and I’d have the final say in where it is I go in life. Well, in accordance to what God wants, of course. I call it the more than a conqueror mentality (Read Romans 8:37). Without a doubt, He has been instrumental in setting me on my new lifestyle in the first place… I probably should have consulted Him 4 months ago, but lesson learned, right?
Lately I’ve been getting this impression that some people don’t think I’m really trying to accomplish anything when really it’s the complete opposite. Probably to a dangerous degree. And by “some people” I have a few people in mind, including myself.
I have a very passive demeanor. I don’t know if that comes off on the Lost Dial, my videos or on my blog, but most would agree that I’m a pretty laid back and a “chill kinda guy.” Those that also know me would tell you I’m pretty busy and can juggle a lot of projects at once. Ironically, I still can’t actually juggle. Perhaps I should practice more in my spare time but for now let’s switch analogies. At times I might have more on my plate than I can handle. But you’d probably never know unless I told you, and even still I’d probably might not admit I can’t handle it. But somehow with the grace of God, I get by.
And by the way, letting go and letting God is sometimes, maybe a lot of the time, easier said than done. It’s not that I don’t have faith or I don’t trust Him, it’s just remembering to put things in perspective. Sometimes I need to be reminded hourly that He will provide my needs and He’s not going to forsake me. Not just daily, hourly.
So with all of that said, I’ve started to aggressively push to get my life back in the direction I feel it should be going. (I clench onto Luke 12:31/Matthew 6:33.) Just like any wrong exit you take off of a highway, you’ll need to at some point turn around to an alternate route to get back to the main road you were on. Such is the case for me. Even if I don’t know exactly where my destination is, I know that the detour I took was not the right one. And why did I take that detour in the first place? Money.
I believe God has placed enough people in my life, from my family to a handful of friends, new and old, to remind me what it is I want to do. Those friends and family regularly remind me that money isn’t everything. Even though I already knew that, their support means so much more. The best way to make them happy is for them to see me happy. And that, Indoobians, is the aggressive force that will carry me through to the next chapter in this new lifestyle.