escaping african american friday

Looks like I forgot some things you need to do. I wasn’t finished telling you how to survive African American Friday.

Yeah, it looks a lot like this.

Depending on where you plan on waiting, if you plan on waiting, you want to dress appropriately–for inside the store. Usually it’s a warm 72, or whatever the standard is. But if you’re going to be in a 24 hour store and plan to wait and shop for a while, you may want to dress comfortably. I don’t mean come in a shorts and tank top. Most of the veteran black Friday shoppers I see are wearing sweat suits, track suits, and of course the standard jeans and a hoodie.

Brrr.

But most places I will assume is an outdoor waiting affair, so dress with a big heavy coat so when you get inside, you can take off one article of clothing verses dressing in layers. But this is only assuming if it’s cold where you are. It might be raining in my area this year, but like I said, I’ll be inside. And it’s been a very mild autumn so far this year, so I’ll probably have a light jacket just to keep me warm from any slight chill or dry from any rain as I walk from the car to the store… then eventually from the store back to the car.

But waiting outside, people have been known to bring lawn chairs. I don’t know what they do with them once they enter the store, but I’m always paranoid someone will think I stole something I originally walked in the store with… so that’s your call. I’d rather sit on the pavement or lean on the wall.

Traffic is inevitable.

Regarding parking… I consider myself a lazy parker. I will take the first space I see, which might not be the closest. When negotiating traffic on your way out, you’d probably want a spot that has an easy exit… and the parking space closest to the store probably isn’t it. You have to deal with other cars driving by and pedestrians either leaving, entering or lost. Let’s not forget that the people leaving probably have a crew with two carts each full of loot. Honestly, if we all have patience, we’ll get to where we need to go. So make up your mind, do you want to spend time walking to your car? Or do you want to spend time in your car still stuck in the parking lot? I figure both are equally dangerous. But at least as a pedestrian, you have the advantage if a car accidentally runs you and your loot over.

Sadly, even a space close to the exit doesn’t guarantee you will make it out in record time either. Just hope someone will be nice enough to let you get into the line of cars that are possibly at a stop sign or red light to the main road. And yes, I’m trying to think of everything to make sure you have a safe travel.

On a serious note, there have been episodes of being stampeded to death. Is it really that serious, guys? We are not blood thirsty tigers looking for fresh meat. Well… I hope not. Or is this your chance to prove the Darwin Theory is correct? The strongest and fastest win the prize? The scavenging of black Friday makes me think it’s called “bleak Friday” due to the overall generosity and kindness shown to our fellow man once the sale begins.

So I don’t blame people who don’t want to be out for that. In fact, I recommend people just hop on their computers and get similar if not the same deals online. One year, I did most of my Christmas shopping via Amazon.com. I even had them wrap my gifts for me! I woke up around 6am that Friday morning and spent about $200 on everyone’s gifts, then went back to sleep. I did go out to a store much later after the big crowds died down and picked up a few other items. I think it was the fastest I’ve ever done my holiday shopping. Or at least the laziest. But nobody’s complaining. Especially not these guys…