death of the gentleman generation

I have a few friends that, unfortunately, keep running into idiots. Some call them “dogs” or “pigs” or “man whores” or much worse and vulgar terms I choose not to publish. Such dudes are only out for one thing: to bed any attractive female they see. This is a problem for me because the majority of my closest friends happen to be attractive females. And growing up in a house of sisters, I acquired an overprotective trait, particularly to any male that might peak at any female close to me. I can’t help it. It’s not that I consider them my property and I’m ready to grumble “get off my lawn!” all Clint Eastwood style, but I just don’t want to see them disrespected or hurt. I perfected a specific “back off” look so well, that I didn’t even need to speak.

I recall walking aroung a store with my sister one evening. In the distance there was some dude checking her out. I suppose one could compare “the look” to what is called “the crazy eyes” in the movie The New Guy which is a movie I love by the way. Need a reminder? Here’s a couple…

Anyway, while I didn’t give an actual “crazy eyes,” I gave a look that had the same effect and said dude effectively looked away from me and my sister and began walking in another direction. Another instance, I intimidated a guy taking my sister out on a date of sorts by going out to the car to meet him. For some reason, I was holding a broomstick and brought it with me as I went out to chat with the dude. I wasn’t going to hurt him, I just wanted to say hi.

My sisters have since been married to wonderful, loving gentlemen and I am not worried about anyone disrespecting them whatsoever. If they were, their husbands will handle it, then my father, then me. Not necessarily in that order, but whatever.

Speaking of fathers, that’s the very reason why I’m the kind of guy that I am. And today, I became an angry man due to such an idiot disrespecting a wonderful female friend of mine. I was taught that a woman should be treated with the utmost respect at all times. You know, opening their car doors, pulling out chairs, giving them compliments, etc. All of that and more my daddy taught me. And not just by sitting me down and going, “Boy, this is how you respect a lady.” It was more of a learning by observation. Not only does this make the woman feel good, but it shows others that she is in good care. In fact, I’ve heard other women complain to their man when they see another man opening a door for a woman. “Look at that! You never do that for me.” And the guy groans, secretly hating the gentleman. Sadly, I feel like guys are doing less and less of this as time goes on. I hope I’m wrong.

I don’t do the opening-her-car-door all the time, especially with my car, Sam, who’s doors continuously lock every time it rains which makes it difficult to keep it unlocked while I’m outside. Forget the car remote, it makes it worse. But when I can do it, I do. And sometimes, the girl I’m with will race me to the car door just so she can open it first. I have weird friends.

Anyway, from what other women tell me, this classic gentleman is a dying breed. And it’s a shame. The stories I hear these days about how their men treat them angers me because it goes against what I’ve been taught about how to treat women. There are some guys that are out there that still believe women are objects. You see it in the music videos or maybe you know someone who does it. And it’s not all guys, of course. But I know a specific group of guys who go around to see how many women they can sleep with before they move on. Like a conquest contest. The catchy title is not meant to be flattering in this instance. It’s quite sickening.

Unbeknown to my friend and I, one of these conquistadors was attracted to my friend. She, at first, thought the guy was cute and even her type. After meeting him after weeks of shyness from both parties, she got a bad vibe and it turned out that she was correct in thinking he was trouble. Instead of a formal meeting, or even a friendly greeting, she gets a very vulgar R-rated text message from this guy. (I’m not going to talk about texting someone for the first time because it doesn’t matter to me. I’m a person that texts a lot more than calls, but that’s not the point I’m making today.) Really? Who does that? For the sake of argument, let’s just say the text said, “Let’s hook up tonight.” It was worse than that, and when I heard it, even I felt insulted. Again, there are some women out there that don’t mind one night stands or hooking up with random strangers they just met… this isn’t about them. This is in defense of those girls who like to get to know somebody first and take things slow. The kind of girls that are looking for a good man.

And I do know quite a few guys who like to cut to the chase, and perhaps that has worked on some women. Good for them. But my beautiful female friends have class. They have morals. Values. And they want to be treated and talked to like the beautiful women they are. And that’s where my a lot of my frustration comes from: I think some guys just don’t know how to talk to a girl they admire. I guess it’s different if you aren’t really looking for a relationship, but still. I’ve also heard stories of some dudes that think they are giving compliments, but come off as rude insults. Many of my female friends are sensitive about their hind parts and guys who “compliment” them in their guy-ly way only makes them feel worse. Again, I repeat, this does not apply to all women, nor am I talking about all guys. I just need to voice some frustration since I’m not the violent type. If I was, I might be in jail by now for knocking out the guy who said some pretty nasty things to my friend.

This really isn’t anything new, its just never been this bad for her. I think these kinds of guys should really keep their thoughts in their heads. But that’s my opinion. It angers me because it upsets her and other girls like her. It might even cast doubt on the next guy she meets that could be a genuinely nice guy, but is turned down because of a bad experience. So now, what’s left of these gentlemen must work even harder to prove that not all men are pigs. Some of them are actually looking for friends, girlfriends, companions, wives and not just a one night stand or bed buddy. They also call these guys keepers. So ladies, I think if you know any like that, you should let them know. Not that you want to keep them, but that they are someone who should be kept.

For the record, I’m aware of Ne-Yo’s album “Return of the Gentleman” or something like that, I haven’t listened to it and have heard good things about it, but I’m glad someone else has the right idea. Leave it to the soulful singers to get it right. Thus ends my rant. Goodnight and Happy Father’s Day to the real men doing it right.

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Posted in family, girls, rant, wisdom

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June 2009
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