the little bolivian boy


Perhaps some of you have heard me mention the Little Bolivian Boy once before. Yes, he has a name, as I’m sure all little Bolivian boys do. Both big and small. But I fear that naming him will get me in trouble with the international DCF police, so I won’t risk it. Or maybe CCF will cut off my letters and 10 years later a whole dramatic scene will play out with me and LBB will meet face to face and he’ll be all…

“You never wrote me!”

And I’ll be all, “I did, my little Bolivian Boy. And my, you have grown…”

“Lies!”

“But I did! You didn’t get my letters?”

“What letters?!”

“The ones I wrote every month to you. I admit, times got a little difficult when I ran out of stamps and I kept forgetting to pick them up. Then Old Lady Harris kept asking me to bring in her groceries… but that’s not an excuse, nor is it the point. The point is I sent them because stamps aren’t cheap, son.”

“You aren’t my dad! Don’t call me son! And I didn’t get anything from you! I don’t know who you are… you aren’t even my sponsor! I dis-sponsor you!”

[Gasp] “No! Little Bolivian Boy! I sponsor love you! I swear to your little Bolivian heart that what I speak is true!”

[Turns away] “Get out. Leave this place! And never return. I forbid it.”

“But I’m your sponsor. I forbid your forbidding!”

“Just leave… or I’ll call the international DCF for sponsor abuse.”

“You wouldn’t!”

“They gave me their business card, and I’ll use it.”

“Ok… you win… I’ll go. But don’t forget, I’ll always send an extra check for your birthday.”

“Hello? International DCF Police O’Hannigan?”

“Okay, okay… I’m leaving. Farewell my Little Bolivian Boy.”

Okay… so maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration, I just don’t wanna take my chances. And it’s probably not even that big of a deal. But I don’t really enjoy referring to him as my LBB. Nor do I think he would appreciate if I called him Squishy, and he will be my Squishy. No. I shall wait to see what he likes to be called. Or maybe in time we will come up with a nickname together.

In the meantime, would you like to know a little bit about him? He’s currently 7. He’s in school and enjoying studying grammar (which I think works for me, considering I’m a writer… I may need to hire an editor in a few years).

If you haven’t picked up on it, he’s from a Spanish speaking country called Bolivia. That’s partially why I chose him, because he’s from a Spanish speaking country. That gives me another reason to practice writing/reading it, even though CCF translate it for us. I was looking for a little Peruvian Boy… but sadly, I didn’t see any. Why Peru? I know a Peruvian girl who also lacks a nickname and made an empty promise to take me with her to Peru someday. Okay, I lied… no promises were made. Only implied. I implied she was going to take me. I guess I’ll have to find my own means to travel to South America.

Anyway, I’ve always wanted to sponsor a child. I felt financially stable enough to handle a $20-30 monthly contribution. There are much worse things I could be throwing my money away on. Non-rechargeable batteries, bringing dinosaurs back to life, ant trainers, shopping at Macy’s. At least this way, my money is going to somewhere, to someone, who needs it.

My other mission for LBB is to get a picture of him that he is smiling. I’d show a picture, but again, I fear this would violate exploitation laws or something. I guess it’d be different if it were a picture of him and I together or something. That is, as long as he still gets my letters after I blog about him. Don’t worry my little Bolivian Boy, I won’t forget you!

Advertisements
Tagged with: , , , , ,
Posted in CCF, charity

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 1,965 other followers

Follow the indoob! network on WordPress.com
April 2009
S M T W T F S
« Mar   May »
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
2627282930  
Blog Stats
  • 28,507 hits
  • 106. showers in the van August 8, 2019
    Keyerra of the Crime in Color podcast stops by, not to discuss crimes or criminals, but favorite songwriters. Although criminals are discussed when Stephanie St. Clair is brought up as this episode's BHF. Kortney discusses a new obsession. Sterling reviews Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. Follow @CrimeInColor and Keyerra on Twitter. Check out the official […]
  • 105. you, me, and sdcc July 25, 2019
    A review of San Diego ComicCon, specifically and especially news from the Marvel Cinematic Universe and what's most anticipated. Prior to that, more news about Bettye and what surprises she had in store for Sterling. Later, a review of the new Lion King and the winner of the Okayiest Movie Award of 2019. Sterling tells a story about the time he spent an […]
  • 104. you shall not (movie)pass! July 11, 2019
    RIP MoviePass, as we contemplate the next slate of streamers heading to your smart TV coming soon. Sterling discusses a pet peeve that many men can possibly only relate to. A salute to Tom Joyner and his Morning Show that kept us entertained and inspired. Support our good friends over at Mayke reach their Kickstarter goal: https://www.kickstarter.com/project […]
%d bloggers like this: