The playlist contains songs that, like I said, have a feel for the night, whether it explicitly is about the night or perhaps lights shown at night like Kanye West’s “All of the Lights” to “Dancing in the Moonlight” to Maxwell’s “Lifetime.” It’s an eclectic list.

Bob Seger’s “Night Moves” came on, a song in which is about nostalgia and often gives me a regular dosage of it as I remember my own shenanigans I took part in after hours in my teenage years. It wasn’t until the 3 minute mark in the song did I get hit with an unusually strong dose of memory overload as I recalled events that took place last summer. “Funny how you remember…” Bob kept singing to me. I always think of that being the transition in the song in which Bob is now in the present, returning from his flashback, feeling the afterglow of strong nostalgic memories. Oddly enough, that’s when my real flashback began.

With all else that’s going on in my life and in the world right, all of it seemed to take a back seat as I let memories and whatever emotions that came with them flow in and sweep me away. Perhaps not the wisest thing to do while driving, highway hypnosis took over I think for a few miles and I let repressed VHS tapes play and rewind, play and rewind, play and rewind.

I’m grateful that I fully took in and cherished those moments from last year, stored away with perfect recall. I could probably give you a play by play of that night in particular, but I won’t. But have you ever been so overwhelmed by nostalgia that it almost paralyzes you? Almost leaves you in a catatonic state? A memory so strong that it’s on the verge of pulling tears out of you?

I normally don’t like living in the past or longing for things that once was. Yet there are somethings in life that are long hoped for to happen or perhaps happen again.

But worry not, fellow reader. There’s still hope for this hopeless romantic. This may be my 3 minute mark coming up.

IM3 picks up some time after last years mega hit The Avengers. Tony Stark is having serious anxiety problems, most of which stem from the events in that film. I say that so people who have admitted to me they haven’t seen IM1 or 2 can skip to Avengers just to get familiar with what’s going on so they can see this one. Anyway, besides Stark’s personal demons, he has a new villain to face by the name of The Mandarin. I had to run over to Wikipedia just to get a background on who he is and what he does. I’m not going to explain here. Kudos to the brilliant actor Sir Ben Kingsley. The plot mostly comes from the Iron Man story arc “Extremis” which for a while was on Netflix Instant.

This film has a number of twists, I obviously won’t divulge here. But I’ll put it this way, I wouldn’t believe the reveal until a couple scenes later. Along with twists, a number of cameos. SPOILER ALERT: Stan Lee is a judge at a pageant. Also, look out for Joss Whedon. And bonus footage at the end? Check. I will say that the final scene is also similar to the one after the final credits of The Avengers, just a fun little scene, you’re not missing a whole lot if you leave after seeing RDJ’s name.

I found out afterwards that this film was converted to 3D and was not shot in 3D. I’m usually not a fan on converted films, but this one isn’t too bad. It’s no Avatar but it’s certainly not Clash of the Titans. So you won’t be disappointed if you opt for the extra optimal experience, but you’ll be just as entertained otherwise. But it’s an action flick, so for it.

And what does “the second mouse get’s the cheese” mean? The first mouse was caught in the mousetrap.

The short report: I really enjoyed this film. It’s a quintessential summer blockbuster. 3D viewing is optional. Bring the kids.

To make a long and possibly boring story shorter, the 84th Academy Awards I correctly predicted 9 out of the 24 winners. This year: 14 out of 23. Granted, there is a piece of trivia to go along here. First of all, why 23 and not 24? The category of Art Direction is gone. Why? They ran out of the metal Oscar is created from. Second piece of trivia: this is the first time that I’ve ever witness a tie for an Oscar. Sound Editing was split between Zero Dark Thirty and Skyfall. I predicted ZDT so I technically won. What made it more unbelievable is that Seth MacFarlane’s Ted was one of the presenters for this award so it was hard to tell if they were actually being serious for a moment.

Anyway, besides that, the show was rather entertaining. I missed a mass chunk in the beginning due to multitasking and entertaining friends and family with questions, comments and concerns. By about 9 or so, I was live-tweeting with the rest and best of them.

The particular highlights were the tributes to musicals, Bond, winning speeches by Jennifer Lawrence, Quentin Tarantino, Daniel Day-Lewis and Ben Affleck. I particularly enjoyed the used of the Jaws theme as the wrap up music. And surprise, surprise! First Lady Obama presented the Best Picture award via satellite! I thought MacFarlane was a pretty good host. Ratings were up so that’s a good sign he’ll be back.

There are more, I’m sure, but my timing in recapping is bad as I’m still trying to catch up from the sleep I lost staying up to watch the whole show. For more insight, tune in to the next episode of The Lost Dial.

The Academy Awards are more social this year and have released their own app that, of course, has a voting ballet that you can share on Twitter and play with friends on Facebook. This is probably the only game I’d play on Facebook, by the way. I’m talking to you, people that constantly invite me to play casino games or whatever. Stop it. Anyway, the app is both on Apple and Android devices. It also has other trivia, trailers and loads of other stuff film and Oscar geeks would drool about. I kept my drooling to a minimum in case you were wondering.

Lastly, for a few more insights on my predictions, you can listen to this episode of The Lost Dial.

On to the nominees!

*Huffington Post assisted predicting
My predictions are in bold

Aside from that, the past few months had been on the hectic side for me. Sure, it’s normally busy between Thanksgiving and New Years, but when you’re working two or more jobs, it’s overly busy. In fact, “busy” might be an understatement. And sadly, all the work I’ve been doing isn’t all related to my passions because sadly, my passions aren’t paying me monetarily… yet.

Long story short, I had been working overnights at a toy store, and then picked up a part time position stocking moulding at a home improvement store. The good thing about these jobs is it gets me out and about and around people. Oh yeah, and a reliable paycheck. I need a physically active job since I can’t get to the gym right now. But since the toy store gig was a seasonal thing, I’ve since gotten some of my time back, so I’m desperately trying to make up for it getting back to what I love to do.

I’ve said it before: my drug of choice is a good tangible project, I get high off of accomplishments that I can show and share vs putting in hours at an office processing files no one will ever see or understand except for others that work there. I feel like that should be my personal mission statement.

With all that said, I’m completing editing projects as I type (I have to do something why a file renders). And soon I will finally get back in front of the camera to rant and rave about whatever random topic I find amusing. I know you guys miss those even if you don’t actually tell me.

The past couple months I’ve felt like I lost sight on my passions and what I wanted to do with my life, while others around me seemed to have figured it out already. Even when I explain to new friends I meet what it is I do in my spare time, they make me seem like I’ve got it altogether too. Funny how we are all seeming and unknowingly fooling each other. Lately I’d say I’m a shell of who I am. But the good news is I’m coming back… to a screen near you!

I have to give a huge thank you to my sister who has helped me keep it together lately, reminding me to take this life one day at a time, reminding me I’m not alone, and to always, always keep God first. There are more times I’m willing to count that I might forget something as simple as praying. And yeah, this is the guy who had been posting Bible scriptures for a few months just about everyday.

Truth is, I don’t know if I was posting those scriptures for me or how I wanted others to perceive me. Eventually I stopped posting things altogether, at least on Facebook. I fell into that dangerous area where I was comparing my life to others based on images or statuses I’d see and felt inadequate compared to them. Not wise or healthy, I know, and normally I don’t do that… but it happens. I figured a hiatus would do me good and help me to refocus.

Even when people remind me of my past accomplishments, unless it’s recent, it doesn’t mean too much to me unless I’m actively accomplishing something else. Excuse my weird analogy, but it’s like Dexter (from the hit Showtime serial killer show of the same name) and his need to kill. That’s how I feel about creating something. If I’m not actively trying to do something constructive, I get restless and sometimes depressed. Once a project is complete, I can rest easy for a while since that hunger has been satisfied.

I want to devour 2013.

matthewcarden.com

Someone once told me that working third shift shortens your life by some kind of a percentage I didn’t bother to remember. Any studies or figures that say such and such would shorten your life, like smoking, not exercising, or robbing banks, I always take with a grain of salt because there are too many variables… like getting hit by a bus or eaten by a Cloverfield monster. Has Hollywood taught us nothing about the frailty of life?

I wondered why they called third shift the “graveyard shift” …but I just assumed back in olden times, that’s when gravediggers would be working. It was one of those professions daytime folks would be revolted to see in the light of day. I then wondered why it wasn’t nicknamed the prostitution shift. But with further musing, I came to the conclusion that even back then, the oldest profession was probably worked day and night. Plus, I’d think more people would rather identify with gravediggers vs hookers.

Anyway, it’s holiday time in America. Which means most citizens are out trying to get the best deals for “necessary” items in their local stores at obscene hours, known as Black Friday… which starts earlier every year. I don’t want to get into that right now. But I gave up what felt like my free time to take a seasonal overnight part time job at a toy store. “It’d be cool to work at a toy store,” I said to myself. And for the most part, it is. I really don’t have a huge issue going back into retail as long as I’m not returning to a super chain that starts with W and ends with T.

But what I forgot about working overnights is how my lifestyle changed with it. I’ve always been a night person, but working third shift makes you an exclusively night person. I love a good sunrise just as much as the next romantic, but it’s not as appreciated when I’m on my way home to bed, tired, sore and missing the rest of daylight hours.

The biggest absence that I’m feeling is losing touch with my family and friends. At least at the other store I worked at, it was open 24/7, so friends could visit if they really wanted. I could also leave on my breaks. At this toy store, I can’t even go to my car. Times for communication, let alone hanging out, are limited. I made it work before, but it was a bit of a struggle. And I often sacrificed sleep just to maintain something of a social life. And prepping for the biggest shopping day of the year really drains a person out. So if you do manage to have time to spend with loved ones, you’re too tired to enjoy it.

But I don’t want to sound like I’m ungrateful. I’m happy to be earning a regular paycheck again. And while I go home aching, I like the physical labor. I also like interacting with other people. I missed those things when I had my work-from-home office job.

I miss that office job too, lately. Mostly the paycheck.

I told my mother about these concerns, and she told me that more than likely the Lord is probably showing me something that’ll make sense later. An appreciation thing, perhaps? Luke 16:10 comes to mind as I ponder her insights.

Whoever can be trusted with a little can also be trusted with a lot, and whoever is dishonest with a little is dishonest with a lot.

While I may grumble about missing out on what might fall under “luxuries”, I’m thankful to be working and you can rest assured, I give my 105% best 95% of the time I’m there. I’m also very thankful for Mom, Dad, Middiree, Damon, my church fam, Barry, Chris, Kathy, Dominica, Michelle, Magdalena, Felicia, Greg, Keisha, Jenni, Ariel, Shakera, my Lost Dial crew Mike and Wendy and several others (I apologize if I didn’t name you, I couldn’t possibly name everyone because I know I’ll leave someone out). Thank you and I thank God for you. I’m not thrilled to be working into Thanksgiving and then again later on Thanksgiving, but I have to do what I have to do. And I know there’s something better out there for me. Soon. I can’t keep doing this for long though, because I’ll surely end up in a graveyard.

And the answer is yes, it kinda is. Then of course, I have the random flowers (or broken trees) that are growing around my house, a few GIFs to help deliver an expression, and then whatever else is going on in life that’s easier shown than typed. I wouldn’t call my Twitter pic or Instagram feed a fully accurate snapshot of my life, but a good fraction of it. I have yet to find a way to record the entertainment side of me, and I’m usually too busy enjoying the people I’m around to take pictures of those moments… but I’ll work on it. The future intern for the Lost Dial can help with some of that.
For anyone wondering why I feel the need to document scriptures and food, first I nonchalantly reply “Why not?” and then I follow up with that these are things I live by. I love the Lord, I’m not ashamed of being a Christian and I don’t care who knows it. I know that some of the scriptures I post will indeed help someone somewhere, myself included. Lately I’ve been starting my day reading about 5-6 different scriptures and later I’ll choose one to share, usually whichever is most influential to me at that particular time.

Food for the soul

As for the food? Well, I love food. Who does’t? Besides that, it’s a reminder to me how good whatever it was I was eating was, and then posting the pic is just to tantalize you and kinda brag about how good whatever it is, was. Also, if I take a picture of food, that means it has my mark of approval (unless otherwise stated). With that said, if I’m at your house eating food that you made, don’t be offended if I don’t take a photo of it. Usually I forget because the food looks so good I want to dive right in and photography is an after thought. But if I have room for seconds, I’ll try to capture it then. Maybe.

I didn’t necessarily feel the need to justify pictures on my timeline, I just wanted those to be aware that I’m aware. In days to come, I plan on inviting my church friends on what I call a food adventure, and you can bet there will be pictures of food, friends and maybe I’ll TextGram the grace before we eat. Foodies unite! Amen.

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In case you didn’t know already, you can follow me on Twitter and Instagram. @indoob & @indoob. I keep it simple.

My last post I talked about a garden hose in a spiritual context, and how the water that flows from it is God’s blessings and my worrying is the equivalent to squeezing that very hose, hence stopping the flow. It’s only natural for us to worry about things whether they are in our control or not. Ultimately, it’s easier said than done not to worry. Real life problems and situations like to make themselves known in big bold colors and noises and (speaking for myself) God’s gentle voice gets lost in the excitement.

For a while, I felt I was doing fine trusting God with any and all things that came my way. I was reading the Bible on a more regular basis than a few months ago, I prayed constantly and consistently. A lot of what was preached I was retaining and applying to my life (and many sermons seemed to be directed at me anyway). Following my favorite verse (Matthew 6:33) was truly proving itself to be true. Things I had been praying for were coming to pass… or at the very least, were in sight.

I liken myself to Peter, getting out of the boat to walk on water to meet Jesus. I stepped out on faith, and was doing fine crossing the treacherous waters with ease–as long as I kept my eyes on Him. But then my self-diagnosed A.D.D. kicked in, mixed with a dollop of doubt, and sprinkled with delusions of a debt-free future and next thing I know, I’m flailing and floundering trying to keep my head above water. (And BTW, I do believe in being debt-free.)

It wasn’t a good time. I saw friends and family getting jobs, getting married, having babies (not that I want sticky grubby handed kids right now) and, via Facebook updates and photos, having a highly successful life. Or at least a life that seemed better than mine. Meanwhile, people tell me how talented I am when I’m busy doing so many volunteer jobs and I begin to loudly question God “Why not me? What about me?” Even if I’m questioning silently, a lot of those same people complimenting me have encouraged me and remind me… “in due time.”

My sister helped me pinpoint what went wrong this past week by asking me a simple question “What changed?”

After much thought, I realized it was because I took my eyes off of God. That’s why I started sinking. I wasn’t reading and praying with purpose like I was before. I wasn’t putting God first. And if it’s one thing wee Sterling heard over and over, it’s that God is jealous.

Rather than wallow in self-pity, I took initiative and got back into my old good habits. Such a habit included my limited access to Facebook (in other words, I’ll be interacting less with the popular, addicting and time consuming social network). I’m starting a workout regimen, which will boost my self esteem. I’m working on blogging more, as you can see. And most importantly, I’m restoring and strengthening my faith through scriptures, prayer and mediation.

These are things I should have been doing and should always be doing. But as we all know and experience: life happens. And when life happens, routines tend to be changed or broken. It’s cool, I can adapt. As long as I keep my focus and trust in God, I’ll be fine.

My sister gave me Destined to Reign: Devotional by Joseph Prince. For those that don’t know, a devotional is a daily reading of the Bible but with some commentary on a verse or verses, with a thought for the day. Some have themes like living healthy or being successful or prayer, or are geared towards men or women. Typically, you’d start the day with it, maybe before or after a morning prayer or worship, whatever your personal routine may be if you have one. I usually keep it next to my bed so as soon as I wake up, it’s one of the top 5 things I look at before officially declaring myself to be awake and/or up and at ‘em. On occasion, I’ll bring the book with me wherever I’m going if I forget to read it or don’t have time. (Click the picture for a link to the book or click this link to see today’s reading.)

In any event, there will be a scripture and a page length reading what that scripture means in terms of everyday life and how it applies to you. Some days, some scriptures apply a little more to my current situations than others. Other days, I don’t see a connection until something happens later in the day.

What’s really fascinating to me is how eye-opening these devotionals can be. I could crack open the Bible and just read a verse and call it a day. But with some enlightened inspirational meaning to accompany it, I’ll have a deeper understanding of what God is saying to me. A lot of the verses I tweet, post on Facebook, or make Instagram pics out of come from this book.

The funny thing is what happened on Monday. The scripture was John 14:27 –

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you…. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

The commentary then talked about how God’s peace and blessings flows like water and how being worried is like you’re squeezing a garden hose from which that water flows. After the past weekend, I had been everything but peaceful. So this was great food for thought. I went through my day reflecting on that and then Tuesday came.

I can’t recall what exactly was different. I blame the cold rainy weather. But I felt off. I read my devotional, and it was good, but I felt as though I was worried. I panicked a little, thinking about that garden hose being cut off and how I can’t let go. From there, I was basically just having “one of those days” before ultimately I was on the verge of an emotional breakdown. I can’t say it enough but I’m so thankful for my friends and family for keeping me sane. I keep a lot of things inside and they let me vent a lot of the pent up frustrations and concerns I’ve been carrying. I felt that be doing that, I was loosening my grip on the hose.

While the story isn’t over, resolution to my circumstance is in sight. Today’s devotional is titled “God Has Seen Your Future And It Is Good!” It has definitely  given me hope, and on top of that, my daily scripture app on my phone was from Romans 5:3-5 –

We also have joy with our troubles, because we know that these troubles produce patience. And patience produces character, and character produces hope. And this hope will never disappoint us, because God has poured out his love to fill our hearts. He gave us his love through the Holy Spirit, whom God has given to us.

The significance here is that my brother preached on these verses in his sermon on Sunday, which talked about enduring hardships. So the fact that this came up today only confirms to me that ultimately, everything is going to be alright.

I know I took you Indoobians on a weird and different journey and I don’t have a nice bow of a conclusion to tie up this particular post, but in all honesty, that’s really how my life is. Throw in everything else I usually talk about here, add in my love of food and you’ll have a slightly clearer understanding of who I am. My relationship with God is of the utmost importance and if I want my personal and professional transition to be a successful one, I know God is the first to be responsible for that happening.