Creating this list wasn’t easy to do. Why? Because I had to search deep, deep, deep in my memory of films I’ve seen and truly disliked, hated, and/or made me angry. I have a weird switch in my brain that makes me forget how much I disliked the movie a few days after seeing it, unless it really had a negative effect on my memory that it was too traumatic to block out. So with that said, consider this list incomplete due to not remembering a few movies out there. Also take into account that I haven’t seen every movie ever made, so this list is subject to revision with new movies being made everyday and a plethora of films out that I have yet to see. Furthermore, there are dozens of “bad” movies out there that I found to be tolerable to the fact I would even watch them a second time. There are even a few so bad that they are good, ahem, The Room. But this list contains movies that, given the choice, I would opt out of a second viewing and would consider watching again if given money.
10. Thirteen Days – This movie is about the Cold War. I know enough about the Cold War that I could probably follow the events depicted, but I honestly can’t tell you a lot about what happened in this film thanks to its utter boringness. The funny thing about this movie, my sister and I decided to check it out based on the recommendation of our grandmother, who has a habit of falling asleep on movies unless they keep her interest. So what happens? We fall asleep instead! A couple times. We both woke up to find the movie still on, and went back to sleep again. It could be a decent movie, but we have yet to get through it nor do we have any interest of trying a second time.
9. Super Troopers – I’ll probably get panned for saying how much I dislike this movie, but I really didn’t like it and couldn’t wait for it to end. A lot of the jokes fell flat for me, and I didn’t see much of a point for it to even exist other than a collection of obscure jokes. Sure, I laughed a few times, but it wasn’t enough to make me want to watch it a second time or even recommend it to anyone. Perhaps my sense of humor has changed since when I first saw it, but I doubt it. And since Broken Lizard brought us this movie, I haven’t watched much else they brought out except for Club Dread, which wasn’t as bad, but wasn’t good either.
8. Hollow Man – I was recently reminded of this movie and it’s one that I forgot about. I guess it has a good premise of what would you do if you were invisible? What if you decided to do very bad things? Well it made me mad what he does and it’s not a movie I look forward to watching again as long as I can help it. I barely remember many of the details, but I remember enough to know that it’s only value is a game piece for Six Degrees of Separation of Kevin Bacon.
7. The Ice Harvest – This was advertised as a comedy. It’s more of a black comedy. I have a problem with that term but I’ll get into that another day. Anyway, I’ve seen several black comedies, and at least those made me laugh if not an internal chuckle. This one? Not so much. Not at all, really. It was just downright depressing. Between the setting, the characters, their motives, the plot… I don’t know, this just didn’t sit right with me and I couldn’t wait to return the rental.
6. Bad Santa – I guess I’m not really a big fan of Billy Bob Thornton, since he was also in The Ice Harvest. I also didn’t care for Monster’s Ball, but I didn’t really hate that movie as much. But I guess this could also be considered a black comedy, I’m not really sure… but it didn’t sit well with me either. I didn’t find it amusing and I barely finished it. I think what rubbed me the wrong way was how the kid was involved in this story. Sure Billy’s character sorta redeems himself by looking out for him, but the film overall doesn’t have a chance at winning me over.
5. Crash (1996) – This is not the Oscar-winning version. This one actually came out a few years before that one did. The only thing these two movies have in common is a couple of car crashes. In fact, this movie is all about __ and car crashes. Sometimes together, which for most people, would probably be a turnoff. It’s disturbing and unsettling and this is usually my first movie I’d nominate as a “never again” movie. I only watched it because I was too lazy to change the channel, not knowing what I was getting myself into one night many years ago. Yes, I regret not making the effort to reach for the remote because now I’ve been scarred ever since.
4. American Psycho – I watched this movie in probably the worst condition ever–right before falling asleep and missing the tail end of it. So you know what that means? I had a dream that night with Christian Bale running around killing people. Despite the dream, I already had a dislike for the movie due to the excessive violence and blood. This is the same reason why I’m not a fan of the Saw movies. (I only watched the first two, that’s enough for me.) Even with that said, I realize I am a fan of many violent, bloody movies, but I think it’s all in the context of who and why things are getting killed. So even though at the end of this film (which I didn’t see) all the murders never happened, it still left me feeling uncomfortable. I have no plans on reading the novel it was based on, nor am I interested in the related novel by Bret Easton Ellis, The Rules of Attraction which also got the film treatment and I also painfully endured (consider this an honorable mention). Long story short, it wasn’t a pleasant experience.
3. Doogal – This is usually the first movie I think of when I think of a hated film. Why? Mostly because I feel lied to, or mislead. I see an all-star cast and I’m like “Awesome!” Then I pop in the DVD and I’m bored to near-death. This movie actually angered me and I couldn’t wait for it to be over. Why didn’t I just turn it off? Why continue to suffer? I don’t know, really. But once I start something, I usually like to finish it. Even if it’s painful. Like ripping off a band-aid. I can’t pull it half way off, I need to follow through.
2. The Happening – M. Night Shyamalan gets a bad rap for a lot of his movies and as a fellow storyteller, I try to defend him for many of his movies. And I’m aware of the backlash of The Last Airbender (which I still haven’t seen yet). But I stopped defending him for this movie. I seriously dislike this movie and refuse to watch it again. It’s not that I didn’t “get” this movie, I understood it fine, I just hated the theme or the thought of all these suicidal people made that way because of angry plants. Unfortunately, I ended up seeing this movie twice. I only hated it more after the second viewing.
1. Requiem for a Dream – This is one of those films I found to be in a few people’s “best” or “favorite” list. I’m not entirely sure why, but for the time being, it found itself at that top of my worst list. To keep kids off drugs, this film should be shown. So it definitely achieves its goal at depicted drugs and what bad things can happen to you. It left me with a very unsettled and disgusting taste in my mouth and I needed a few hours of happy cartoons to get back to a normal state of mind. I don’t mind movies that do that, but this one pushed me to an edge that I found I don’t like to be around. One viewing was enough for me and I have no interests in anything related to it. On a related note, director Darren Aronofsky first brought us Pi. I didn’t like that movie either (another honorable mention). The lobotomy scene is what really did it for me, if you really wanna know. His later films are okay, though.
Other mentions (or movies I remembered after compiling my list):
- Epic Movie
- Cabin Fever
- A Christmas Story
- The Weather Man